When I sat down to write this article, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with the current global crisis that we’re up against.

In such trying times, it is a challenge to find the motivation to put that aside and find the concentration to hit the screen and do the job.

And it struck me that often when we dream for success, we seem to have a vision of what we want to achieve. It could be the money you want to make or the promotion you’ve been waiting on. Or freedom and happiness. Success is subjective. And often when we dream of this abundance, we feel so pumped and motivated, but three days into working for it, we’re finding excuses to not work for it at all. Leading to excuses and disappointments and sabotaging of our dreams.

So often people have so many dreams they want to achieve and yet they are not willing to do what it takes to get there. You get distracted by the riches and the shiny short cuts. And you look at other people and go down a spiral of why I am not good enough, when in reality, you know you’re good enough, you’ve seen the dream, you have a vision, you have a goal, you know how to get there. But you’re not willing to put in the effort, the discipline, the sacrifice it takes, to get there.

A classic example is all gym memberships go up around the beginning of the year, because we all think that we are going to hit the gym and achieve our fitness goal, whether we try to lose weight, build our muscles or be stronger. Come end of January, we’re locked in an annual gym contract with zero motivation to go and go on about our lives and wonder why nothing has been achieved.

That’s why we don’t need more motivation, we need Inspiration. So we can be inspired from within and get things done.

First and foremost, identify the problem.

Write down, on a paper, everything you want to achieve, all your goals. Just a list one below the other.

Now, on a scale of one to ten, rate them on how likely you believe in yourself to achieve them, if you were to start today. With zero being less likely and ten being more likely.

This will help you analyse where you are in life right now and what goals you believe you could achieve. There is no point for you to put it if you don’t even believe it. For e.g. one of your goals could be Finding a new career, getting a promotion etc. you rate it 8, then you are already inspiration for it, you just got to start and continue with discipline.

But if changing careers is rated 3 on your goals list, then you’re not ready for it, it will be that much harder for you to achieve it.
It’s easier to go for the low hanging fruit and achieve as you go. It keeps you motivated, inspired and on your toes for the next challenge.

“Motivation is like a drug, you need it to get started and keep at it, but inspiration, give your purpose and the determination to persevere. Inspiration inspires you from within. You then do what you love and love what you do. ”

Next, Mind the Language

Observe the conversation you have with people around you, pay attention to the words you use. Your words become your reality, if you keep saying the things that negatively impact you, you’ll be in a negative headspace. For e.g. I don’t use the word ‘expensive’, because then, you put your value under the value of a material object. And it’s tough to get out of that circle. I say, ‘it’s not worth it’ or I ask myself ‘how can I afford it?’ Or even in a tough situation, I don’t say that ‘its’ so bad/hard’, I say that it’s ‘challenging’.

It sets you up for a challenge instead of making you feel like you’re not good enough or don’t deserve it.

Finally, your software needs an update

If you approach your challenges with the attitude of ‘know it all’, you’ll never learn anything. And to learn, your cup needs to be empty, so you can fill it up as you go by investing in yourself and maintaining a student mindset. Coronavirus indeed gives us an opportunity to upskill ourselves whether it is reading books, listening to podcasts and audiobooks. Watching youtube and videos.or online courses. do whatever it takes to understand yourself . We all have different learning styles. Video works for some, audio for some even taking notes. Do whatever it takes to understand your strengths and challenges. And find relevant information or mentors for any challenges you have. The better you learn, the faster you achieve. You need to upgrade your software to stay in the game.

I hope some of this article helps you get started with your goals. I hope you aim for the stars and accomplish them.

Tell me in the comments below how you keep yourself inspired?  

What makes you happy to go to work every morning?

Is it because the work you do is stimulating? Do you feel appreciated and valued? Maybe you’re working in a great office environment? Or could it be that you are working with some amazing people? Or is something entirely different?

Job satisfaction is essentially about being happy in one’s job. It is the feeling of pleasure and achievement we experience at work because we know what we do matters. The speed and efficacy of our work are often affected by our happiness level. The happier we are at work, the more efficient and effective we become. On the other hand, if we are unhappy, this unhappiness is reflected in the quality of our work. Unhappiness at work can affect our mental and physical state. It can also impact our relationships with our family and friends. In other words, unhappiness at work can translate to unhappiness in life.

Contrary to popular belief, money is not the biggest motivator for job satisfaction. Money is important but it cannot buy you happiness at work if the reasons for your unhappiness are not related to how much you are paid. Take Eric Yuan for instance. Yuan had a six-figure salary, but he wasn’t happy at work. In a recent interview with CNBC’s ‘Make It’, Yuan said ‘Every day when I woke up, I wasn’t very happy. I even did not want to go to work.’ Job satisfaction became a central focus for Yuan’s new company. This year, the company he founded – Zoom – was named one of the top ten happiest companies in the world to work in.

As a leadership coach, I sometimes ask the participants in my workshops to identify three elements they think can lead to job satisfaction. Apart from a sense of purpose, participants identify autonomy, flexibility, recognition, belonging and good relationship with people at work.

Working from home in lockdown, Thai and I thought nothing of allowing staff flexible hours to work. The first week we tried it, I received a text from a part-time employee that works elsewhere too. It had one-word ‘Thanks!’ followed by several happy emojis. Reading it made me happy and I’ve been trying to deconstruct this emotion.

All this while, I’ve focused on the staff’s happiness. What are the things we can do as a company to make our staff feel happy and fulfilled in their jobs? Are we doing enough? Can we do more? It had not occurred to me that a random act of kindness could bring happiness to me – the giver.

If a random act of kindness can make the giver happy, imagine our level of happiness if we can frame our acts in specific, concrete terms rather than abstract ones? For instance, giving our staff some flexibility to take time to work as they need or look after their child is better than just saying I want the staff to be happy. As managers, we know that happy employees produce better quality work, are less likely to make mistakes and will stay loyal to the organisation. Likewise, a happy manager is easier to work with, can get more work done and achieve better outcomes. So, why not give it a go?

The dragonfly effect on creating a happy work culture

The dragonfly effect is a concept mooted by a group of Stanford researchers. The dragonfly is the only insect in the world that can move in any direction when all its wings are working in concert. It symbolises the importance of how small acts can have a ripple effect to create big changes. I’ve been thinking about how we can use this symbol to create a happy work culture.

Consider the four principles as the four wings of the dragonfly: 1) Focus 2) Own 3) Engage and 4) Act.

Remember, you are using these principles in the context of creating happiness for your staff. So, don’t plan organisational goals like meeting deadlines or saving cost. Look at your staff’s emotional and mental wellbeing as the starting point for your planning.

1. Focus on specific goals

Identify a single and measurable goal that can make your staff happy. Define the goal clearly – as you would any organisational goal. Don’t describe abstracts like: ‘My goal is to make my staff happy.’ Be specific. ‘My goal is to make my staff happy by giving them some flexibility to adjust to returning to the office.’

Framing your goal makes it clearer and easier for you to achieve it so be specific about what you want to achieve.

2. Own your happiness strategy

The best way to create a message that is authentic and memorable is to cut through the noise. If you want others to believe it, you have to convince yourself first. Speak from the heart. Be honest. You must genuinely want to make your staff happy. Everything else will flow from there. Happiness has a ripple effect that will translate to their productivity at work. If you are not truthful about your intentions, your strategy may not work.

3. Engage

Once you have the staff’s interest, you can start engaging them in your goal of happiness. Engaging people is about compelling others to care deeply about your cause. If you want to have some flexibility in the workplace, it is not just you who has to be on board. You need the involvement of others in the team too. Engagement has little to do with logic or reason. You might have brilliant arguments why people should get involved but if you cannot get ‘buy-in’, you will not succeed.

Engagement is about creating the right emotional connection with people so they can see and feel what you are seeing and feeling.

4. Act

To act, you empower and enable others to work. If you have been successful in bringing some happiness to your team, then make it an organisational-wide project. Inspire other managers to take the lead from you and bring happiness to their teams too. The fourth wing of the dragonfly is crucial to closing the loop and creating an organisational culture that is vibrant and inclusive.

The four wings of the dragonfly are a metaphor for making a difference in the lives of others. Nearly all managers would like their employees to be happy because we know a happy worker produce better quality work and deliver results. A happy worker is also less likely to leave the organisation. They are genuinely enthusiastic about the company’s success and will work hard to ensure this success. Perks are attractive but they do not always address internal issues. Praise and recognition are motivating but only if the recipient believes them to be genuine.

If once in a while, we can pause focusing on we want and orient ourselves to what others want, we are closer to finding out how we can help our staff be happy in their jobs. And as I have discovered in recent times, the pleasure we feel when we know we’ve done something good for others is priceless.

One of the few good things to come out of working from home is that you get more time to pursue activities that you probably wouldn’t have time to do if things were normal. I have been meaning to read Michele Obama’s ‘Becoming’ since it was published but a busy pre-COVID schedule made it take longer than usual to finish the book. Being in lockdown since March, however, changed all that. I managed to finish the book recently. It was a gratifying read. ‘Becoming’ is deeply personal and empowering. In the book, Michele Obama candidly discussed family, love, career and of course, her time in the White House.

One of the phrases that resonate with me when I read ‘Becoming’ was ‘Am I good enough?’ Michele Obama asked herself this question several times in the book. Her reflections shaped by her experiences and her environment helped her become who she is today.

Self-awareness is about the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively. If you have a clearer view of who you are, you will make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and communicate more effectively. Brene Brown describes it brilliantly when she writes that leaders without self-awareness are a huge energy drain – not just for themselves but for the people who work with them. They also cultivate an eggshell culture that is dominated by fear and hurt. Self-aware leaders, on the other hand, build success by instilling confidence and promoting inclusivity.

As a leadership coach, I have seen firsthand the power of self-awareness. I also know how easily attainable this skill is. So, this week, I would like to share some of my ideas with you.

DEFINING SELF-AWARENESS

According to organisational psychologist and author, Dr Tasha Eurich, there are two categories of self-awareness: internal self-awareness and external self-awareness.

Internal self-awareness is associated with our belief systems, values, and aspirations. It is about who we are and what we stand for. It relates to our happiness, job satisfaction and sense of control. On the flip side is anxiety, stress, and depression.

External self-awareness, on the other hand, is our understanding of how others view us in relation to the factors discussed above. Leaders who can understand how others feel about them are more capable of demonstrating empathy than those who cannot understand others.

Success is not indicative of self-awareness. A good leader can have an abundance of self-confidence and other traits, but they are not necessary, self-aware. Research by HRB shows that only 10-15% of successful managers and business leaders have actual self-awareness.

Also, there is no correlation between internal and external self-awareness. This means that a leader can have a high degree of internal self-awareness but little external self-awareness or vice versa. The diagram of the four archetypical leaders below explains:

HOW SUCCESS CAN HINDER SELF-AWARENESS

Experience and power can give a leader a false sense of confidence over their performance and abilities. As their power grows, they can become less willing to listen to others because they think they know better or because feedback can come with a cost. For example, the experienced marketing director who thinks he/she knows everything about the industry may choose not to conduct crucial research. A successful CEO who has made up his mind on how to progress a project may not want feedback from others that could potentially derail his/her plans.

I like to challenge the managers at my workshop to consider reasons that can hinder their self-awareness. The most common reply is a cliché – ‘It is lonely at the top!’ At executive floor, a CEO has fewer opportunities to interact with the shop floor. This means less chances of receiving genuine and candid feedback. Also, their position of power becomes a barrier to communication. A clerk who is uncomfortable talking to the boss is more likely to hold back important feedback.

To find out what is going on, leaders have to find a way to encourage their workers (from all levels) to speak comfortably and candidly with them. If you do not know what is really happening in your organisation, you cannot lead effectively.

AM I GOOD ENOUGH? REFLECTION VS INTROSPECTION

Introspection doesn’t always improve self-awareness. Whenever I make this statement, I get a reaction from the managers I am training. Most participants assume introspection – examining our thoughts, attitudes, and behaviours – make us more aware of who we are and therefore gives us the self-awareness we need to succeed.

While it is true that introspection helps us contextualise our actions and behaviours, it focuses on the individual i.e. ourselves.

Introspection answers the ‘why’.

‘Why did I lose my temper in the meeting?’ (Behaviour).

‘Why do I dislike A so much?’ (Emotion).

‘Why do I not like this idea?’ (Attitude).

Usually, many of the answers we are seeking do not exist in our conscious mind. Our emotions, attitudes and behaviours are influenced by our unconscious. To compensate, we make up answers that can explain things. Not all these answers are true.

Leaders who reflect on their roles and the impact their roles are having on others, however, develop a greater sense of awareness. Essentially, we ask the ‘what’ and ‘how’ rather than the ‘why’. ‘What am I doing here?’ ‘What is the fallout of the decision I make?’ ‘How will it impact my staff?’ ‘How do I get my workers to talk candidly with me?’ Self-reflection is about asking ‘Am I good enough?’ And by whose standards? Mine? Ours? Theirs? Self-reflection extends beyond an honest and objective appraisal of ourselves. It is also about the willingness to accept candid responses from others and to acknowledge the work of others. Managers who focus on developing both internal and external self-awareness, learn to see themselves better and in the process become better leaders. Finally, no matter how much progress you make, there is always more to learn. That is why self-awareness is such a rewarding journey.

Have you started questioning ‘Am I good enough?’